Why do we love Negativity?

Published on May 18, 2015 12:59:59 PM
By Pardhasaradhy Velury

Why do we Humans have proclivity towards Negativity ; why do Newspapers ,  Movies or TV serials  are thriving on negativity. Why does Sex , Rape, violence , Murder have become essential ingredients  for the success of media both Print and Electronic. Why articles written by DR Abdul Kalam on Vision 20- 20 are read by only handful, whereas Deepika Padukone's short film on " My choice" has a viewership of 70 million in a single day or a write up on Aiswarya Rais pregnancy is intently followed by millions of Indians than prestigious projects like  launching of PSLV or Submarine. Why the postings with straightforward titles do not  attract the attention of viewers in Facebook or Twitter, whereas those with  juicy and sensational headings are read by thousands. Is it because, We humans  still possess animal tendencies  and instincts, are we ingrained with natural obsession towards sex, violence and intimidating tendencies ? Is our Education system encouraging negativity? Is it our Upbringing  leading us towards the path of Negativity?.Before dwelling deep in to this theme , let us understand what is Negativism? what kinds of attitudes cause Negativity? Is it a Chemical imbalance or part of our inherent personality? let us explore.

Negativity is  a pessimistic attitude that always expects the worst.
Negative outcomes are bad outcomes, like failing an exam, getting a disease, suffering an injury, or losing a job. Negativity is an attitude that always expects such negative things to happen. "I bet India Cricket team will lose this game!" and "I can never achieve this task!" are examples of negativity. "The world is a bad place to live in!" is negativity. How often we hear from people that when we were studying, the college was excellent , but later on it got worsened . Our generation is value based whereas present generation is completely spoiled.

What Is Negativity?
There are several dispositions or mindsets that get people into negative thinking.

Why do we love Negativity?
The 5 vices Kama ( Desire) Krodha ( Anger)  Lobha ( Miserliness) Mada (Arrogance) Matsarya (jealousness/envying) are the seeds of negativity  A person with a poverty mindset always thinks that whole world is against him. Believes the worst of things are in store for them and they should never hope for anything better because of their ill luck. They always indulge in blame game - blame society, parents, Teachers , schoolmates, Government — anyone, so long as they don’t have to accept responsibility for their problems. We find this category more in Corporates . Give them a task they come out with 1000 ingenious reasons how it cannot be done
Opposite of Poverty Mindset is abundance thinking. People with this mind are always happy, contented with what they possess.  They believe that Competition should give way to cooperation

Stereotyped Thinking :
In this type people  over-generalize things , issues and people . We often hear generalizations, "all Marwaris are stingy , Italians are thief’s, workers in general are lazy," . In the Management it is called Theory X or Theory Y thinking. This kind of thinking emerges out of ignorance,  limited education or study skills, even a disability or that they were raised in a family that didn’t put emphasis on optimistic or rational thinking. Our beliefs , norms, cultural milieu has an impact on our negative behavior .Formative influences have large impact on an individual to develop such negative mindsets.

Doom Sayers;
Another form of negative thinking that stems from a poverty mindset is Doom Sayers. For them everything will turn out to be disaster. Such kind of thinkers is so pessimistic about life and everything around that they cannot achieve anything in life. People with this mind set complain that India can never become a developed nation, We can never eradicate poverty.

Complaining Mind set ;
People with this type of mentality are always on a complaint spree . They complain about their childhood, parents , Nation , Roads, politicians even God . They always have jaundiced eyes.   They are the opposite of people with rose-colored glasses. Their glasses are  always soiled. A bad experience in life, failure in Business or failure in love or career causes people to become negative.
Negative thinking is not inborn. It can be unlearned as easily as it can be learned. It just takes time and constant effort.
How to Overcome Negativity; Negative thinking can be overcome by infusing  positive inputs. This could be in the form of reading books on positive subjects, listening to music of your choice , Meditation .By  weeding out ignorance you can change  lot of negative thinking patterns. Reading and meditating on Bhagwat Gita will help you to gain self-control, wisdom, joy, peace, and confidence. Periodic SWOT analysis of yourself and getting constant feedback about you from Family, Friends, Peers will definitely improve your personality

Here are 10 ways to overcome yourself against negativity:

1. Don’t take other people’s negative comments personally." Others opinion about you should not become your reality” said a legendry American Singer .Most negative people behave negatively not just to you but to everybody the same way what they say and do is a projection of their own reality – their own attitude. Eminent people in the world have taken inspiration from criticism and worked with double effort to reach position of eminence . They converted problem in to opportunity.

2. Be in the company of positive people. You are the average of the people you spend the most time with.  In other words, who you spend your time with has a great impact on the person you eventually become.  If you are around pessimistic, Doom Sayers and negative people all the time, you will become cynical and negative.  Does who you are and who you want to be reflect in the company you keep?  Be in the company of Creative, intelligent and caring & Sharing people who are driven with passion to achieve something in life and likeminded.  Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who encourage and motivate you.

3.Walk the Talk; You can’t always save the world, but you can make the world a better place by practicing what you preach – by becoming self-aware, tapping into your compassion, and protecting your positive space.  Doing simple things like talking about positive daily events, common friends, hobbies, happy news, make for light conversations with negative people.  Keep the conversations focused on optimistic areas the person can relate to.  You can disarm their negativity, even if it’s just for a little while.

4.Change the way you think; The one thing nobody can take away from you is the way you choose to respond to what others say and do.  The problem isn’t the events that are negative. The problem is the  way you react to those events. The last of your freedoms is to choose your attitude in any given circumstance. Complaining, blaming and criticizing aren’t going to change the situation. It is not always easy  to find happiness in ourselves, but it is always impossible to find it elsewhere.  Regardless of the situation you face, your attitude is your choice. Remember, you can’t have a positive life with a negative  attitude. When negativity controls your thoughts, it limits your behavior, actions, and opportunities.  If you realized how powerful your thoughts were, you would never think another negative thought  again.

5.Focus on solutions Don’t dwell too much on what went wrong. Instead, focus on the next positive step. In the event of failure , Spend your energy on moving forward toward a positive resolution, than   brooding or blaming others . Failure is a stepping stone for success .  Remember, when you focus on solutions, by thinking and acting positively,” sound becomes music, movement becomes dance, a smile  becomes laughter, and life becomes a celebration”

6.Involve yourself in Charitable Institutions;  Giving gives more pleasure than anything in this world .Provide support to the needy.

7.Realize that life is a series of ups and downs. Acknowledge the negativity, accept it, and let it pass through your consciousness, thereby teaching you a lesson but not ruining your day. Life is full of  highs and lows, but you don’t have to go up and down with them.  We develop from the negatives when we accept them and learn from them. This cycle is all part of the human experience.

8.Being in the present; Too often, we carry the baggage of the past that hurt us .Anger, greed, failure , feeling of loss are like poison .  Don’t let these negative emotions from the past spoil your present  happiness. But if the only place they live today is in your mind, then let go, move on, and be happy.You can decide right now that negative experiences from your past will not predict your future. Enjoy the present
9.Let go and move on when you must. According to Gautama Buddha , there is nothing permanent in this world except Change. Letting Go of negative emotions, feelings, situations, thoughts and people is  the best way to go forward. Every time you subtract negative from your life, you make room for more positive.

10.Be Good and Do Good ; People overcome negative emotions like Anger, hatred when positive drivers like Love, affection, gratitude are in full bloom.” As you sow so shall you reap” says the author of  "As a Man Thinketh" .  " According to Newtons 3rd law” For Every Action there is an equal and opposite reaction”
It isn't easy to remain positive when negativity surrounds you, but remember that you have full control of your attitude. Think of it this way: An entire body of water of  the size of the Indian Ocean can’t  sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, all the negativity in the world can’t bring you down unless you allow it to get inside your head. Mahatma Gandhi said " Nobody can hurt you unless you want to be” People who are able to discern the positive points in negative situations are the ones who prosper in the long run.  So defend yourself against the ‘negative way’ and make room for a positive  day.

Negativism thus is not inborn or chemical imbalance or your up bringing but a choice . Just as you choose a Honda car, I phone 6 , Diamond Jewelry you have a choice to overcome negativity and be positive while reacting to a situation or watching a movie , reading a News paper item or witnessing a soap opera which is full of violence, sex or negative shades
Make an effort to be positive and do positive.

Wishing you a Better Today & Better Tomorrow.